Batman Detective Comics # 826 By Paul Dini & Don Kramer

Ok, so it has been way too long since the last review, and to anybody who actually believes in comics…..sorry for the delay. Now, on to the PICK OF THE WEEK!!

Some of you might have seen this coming and if you did, good job. Paul Dini(if you don’t know who this dude is do yourself a favor and look him up on Wikipedia…and be amuthafuckinmazed) has been delivering the goods on detective comics for a few months now with his amazing one-shots. This issue, ”Slayride” was insane. To sum it up, Robin is tied up and riding shotgun with The Joker at the wheel. The action is intense as the Clown Prince of Crime plows down pedestrians left and right with Robin unable to get himself untied. The dialogue moves from hilarious to truly frightening and it sets you on the edge of your seat wondering how it could get any worse, which of course, it does.

This issue, in a mere 22 pages, manages to pull off perfectly what we need to see from a Joker story. The fact that this dude is a THREAT. Over the past I don’t know how many years I’ve seen too many covers with The Joker getting the total shit kicked out of him. Or stories where he is just this parody or a stereotype of himself. Fuck that shit you need to be scared of this motherfucker. Batman knows. Nightwing knows. The Gordons know. Jason Todd really knows. And by Jason Todd I mean the second Robin from the 80’s not this bullshit Red Hood bullshit.

………so yeah, buy this comic. You’ll love it!

Astonishing X-Men #15

I picked up 8 comics today, luckily I'm a very wealthy man and was able to purchase them with ease.After careful consideration I have chosen this issue as my pick of the week. This decision was difficult, I almost could't bring myself to do it, but then I did.

Let's start with the obvious, Joss Whedon is amazing, the dude is gifted.His dialogue is very cinematic. You feel like your watching a movie,a really awesome movie. But that's to be expected from some one who makes them.Cassaday's art is smooth and gorgeous as always.His characters emotion is conveyed through the eyes and it really shines in this comic. Some artists have a hard time achieving this. Cassaday is a master at it.

In this issue we witness an event that is frightening but intriguing to watch,much like a car wreck involving were-wolves.This event is the systematic and perfectly orchestrated take-down of the X-Men.No easy task, but The Hell-Fire Club are one of the X-Men's oldest and most dangerous enemies for a reason.One by one our favorite mutants(unless we count the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) are separated and beaten.But it isn't all despair, thanks to Cassadra Nova's immense psychic abilities, Wolverine spends the comic convinced he is a frightened, prissy little schoolboy!It's hilarious!But just when it looks like all hope is lost, we are reminded that each member of the team is a super hero, and you cannot take any member lightly.

If you haven't picked this series up, you need to, each issue is a punch in the pancackes and it doesn't look like Whedon and Cassaday are letting up any time soon.

Ex Machina Special #2

Wednesday is new comic book day. In honor of this, the holiest day of the week, I shall henceforth be reviewing my favorite comic of the week. This week's pick is Ex Machina Special #2, the second half of the two-part Life and Death story. This series mixes superhero action and intelligent politics. It's realistic and pretty funny.

In case you've never read this amazing comic, I'll give you a quick recap of the premise.

Mitchell Hundred is the victim of an accident that gives him command over machines. He uses his new power to become The Great Machine, the first real life superhero. After 9-11, he retires his jet pack and costume to become mayor of New York City.

In Ex Machine Special we are introduced to Jack Phereson, who was mentioned way back in the beginning of the series. Phereson is the arch enemy of The Great Machine; he has voice command over animals. This makes for an interesting challenge. The Great Machine not only uses his powers to overcome Phereson's attacks but his brain as well, which is a refreshing change from some books. The conclusion itself makes you say, "Ooooh shit".

This is an excellent jumping on story for new readers. Or, if you're not sure about adding another title to your pull box, it's cool because it can be read as a self-contained story.

Also, the covers to the two issues combine to make one large picture. Rad. Sweet.

All Star Superman #1

First off, I'll admit I wasn't going to read this. Now that I have I am currently working on a time machine to go back and kick my own ass. Grant Morrison starts this issue by zipping through Superman's origin in eight words*. Why? Because everyone should know by now how the first and greatest superhero came to be.

This story is Silver Age as fuuuuuck. Lex Luthor is a mad scientist super genius as he should be. Obsessed now more than ever with the man of steel's destruction. Lois is a smart-ass. Good. This story has a Luthor revenge scheme, heroic and flawless rescues by Supes (some of the rescued unaware they were in danger at all), a dash of science fiction for good measure, and an unbelievable ending.

Morrison's Clark Kent dialogue is perfect. I can almost hear Christopher Reeve's voice. Quitely's work was an acquired taste for me, but now I can't believe how much I love it. It's gorgeous. He draws the man of tomorrow as regal and awe-inspiring. Turning each page is like opening a Christmas present. I have devoured the second and third issues.

Some dudes might not want to pick this comic up because it's out of continuity. To those dudes I say, Please read this and get pissed at yourself for not changing your mind sooner. If you've ever been a Superman fan, you'll love this. If you've never been… wise up, sucka.

*Doomed planet. Desperate scientists. Last hope. Kindly couple.

Majestic #6

Majestic #6 gives you a good brawl with Majestic going at it with Spartan (leader of the WildC.A.T.S). I jumped into #6 without reading the following issues so I may be a little off on some subjects. With Spartan's body taken over, Majestic gets a face full o' fist which launches him a couple hundred miles. Then gets dog piled by a dozen Spartan clones, but cuts the pack down with one blow. The true Spartan teleports Majestic to Denver to witness the Daemonites destruction to the city. Majestic finds out these are Daemontites from another dimension and can possess anybody. There using Kheran's planet-shaper engines to remake the world, which was left before man walked the world. And after all that crap is explaned more fighting ensures laser beam eyes, crashing through a couple of walls, with sound effects matching the impact's very well. With the last couple of pages coming up Majestic punches off Spartan's lower jaw, and puts a fist size hole through his torso. Spartan catches his second wind and knocks Majestic cold and tosses him into some molten iron. With a badass showdown from two of Wildstorms heavy hitters, sharp clean artwork and inks to match, this issue is a nice jump into the series.

Best of the best in this comic:

Dialouge: Possesed Spartan, "It's not unusual for us to convert a thousand civilians in a single day."

Fight: Majestic punching Spartan's jaw off.

Cover: Shows you exactly what your going to get in this comic.

Written by Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning Pencilled by Neil Googe & Juan Santacruz Inked by Trevor Scott & colors by Carrie Strachan