Elephant Men #1 by Starkings & Moritat

You’re not supposed to judge a book by it’s cover.  I don’t think that applies to comics.  The cover art on this comic piqued my curiosity and it turns out this was my pick of the week out of five other comics.

 This sci-fi series is set a couple hundred years from now in a place called Mystery City.  It is populated by humans and genetically engineered mutants.  There are elephants, crocodiles, rhinos, hippos, and other various beasts walking on their hind legs, wearing clothes and talking.  As some of you know, I have a soft spot for talking animals.  The first story focuses on Savanah (a human child) making friends with Ebony (an elephant man).  As they talk we are shown gruesome flashbacks of Ebony’s violent past as a gun-toting killing machine. 

This is the first time I’ve read this series.  It reminded me of a cross between Astro City and We 3.  I was disappointed when the story ended abruptly but was overjoyed when I realized this issue was actually two comics.  I flipped it over and there was another story!  It was great, talk about getting your money’s worth.

 The writing is excellent.  The artwork is awesome.  The cover art is the icing on the cake.  Pick of the week!

The Ultimates. vol. 1

So I’m going to start it off like my other reviews and just say it straight up. I hated the idea of this book when I first heard of it, I guess that goes for the Ultimate universe in general. I mean come on two different universes with the same characters, one updated for modern time. Shit dude, I hated this. Of course it was me being ignorant, saying bad things before I read it.

With a little influence from Fabian I caved in and decided to read my very first ultimate comic. Which was The Ultimates vol. 1 trade. Now of course The Ultimates are supposed to be the modern day Avengers, being a fan of the original Avengers I couldn’t see me liking this…but the moment I laid down on my bed put the book in front of me and read the first three pages…I’m hooked. The dialogue is perfect. Taking you back to 1945, seeing maybe how it would be if there really were a super soldier by the name of Captain America. Then Jumping to modern times going directly into the story. The Ultimates were put together to protect humanity from new rising threats, that our army couldn’t handle. See and read all the crazy action for yourself.

Mark Millar just seems to never dissapoint, and along with Bryan Hitch’s amazing artwork. You can’t lose. I think this book captured these characters better than in the regular marvel universe….bold words, I know, but strictly my opinion. The Captain America story is pretty much the same..Bucky is alive and old in this version. Hulk has a totally changed origin, along with some other characters in the book. (I don’t want to give too much away). I think my favorite character in The Ultimates would have to be the new and improved Thor…a leftist new age guru…and MAYBE the son of a Norse god, or just a crazy guy with a hammer and crazy technology. From a scale from 1 to 10 I give the Ultimates a 9.5…no talking animals…WTF?!

Check this book out if you like awesome.

Hellboy Vol 6: Strange Places by Mike Mignola

My last post was about a BPRD comic and I mentioned that people should pick up the Hellboy/BPRD trades.  And even though you should read them in order, and even though Conqueror Worm is my favorite (vol. 5), I’m writing about the most recent release. 

Mike Mignola is by far my most favorite comic book artist.  Everything he draws is a potential painting/tattoo/album cover.  I’m in love with his art, it takes me so long to get through a comic because I savor every panel. 

This trade collects The Third Wish and The Island, both released after the movie (if you liked the movie, you’ll love the comic).  In Third Wish, Hellboy is soul searching in Africa after quitting the BPRD, he meets a witch doctor, talking lions, and mermaids.  It’s a morality tale with an ending that tugs at the heart strings.  The dialogue exchange between HB and the Bog Roosh (a sea witch) is hilarious.  In The Island two years have passed and HB finds himself drinking with ghost sailors.  But it wouldn’t be a Hellboy comic if he didn’t end up beating on a giant monster with his famous right hand; his right hand is the focus of this death/resurrection tale as we finally learn it’s true origin.  Mignola also throws in the creation of the world, the rise and fall of angels and the origin of man.  Heavy stuff. 

 This trade features a new epilogue which caps the whole story nicely.  Hellboy has everything that makes me Believe In Comics.

ULTRA, Seven Days

“The IDIOTS GUIDE on How Not To Write Comics”

“An insult to female comic readers”

“Simple-minded, overdone plot”

“Disappointment manifests itself within these pages”

These are all quotes that need to be on the back cover of this book, despite what Mister Brian K Vaughan himself has to say (“a really fun, totally unique superhero book”  …when did he turn into a teenage girl?)

Ultra, Seven Days is a failed attempt by the Luna Brothers to capture the bonds between women.  They completely lack the capability to portray anything resembling female relationships. 

When anyone is working on a story about the fantastical lives of superheroes, there’s a pretty broad spectrum of what they can make seem believable.  Not the case with the L-Bros. 

The theme throughout is basically the lives of three hot girls being lesbians, sluts and superheroes from 9-5 only!  Snap!  Even when an emergency arises, Ultra HERSELF! reminds the superheroine boss that it’s time for lunch, not rescues.

The trio goes to a fortune teller and the rest of the book focuses on the fortune Ultra gets – finding true love in seven days.  When was the last time a 200+ page trade featured Batman or Superman in pursuit of a lifelong sweetheart?!

Every line in every conversation or thought bubble screams “DUDES writing their oversexed version of how they think girls and their relationships are”. 

Overall, it’d make a nice addition to the fireplace on a cold winter’s night.

B.P.R.D. The Universal Machine #4 by Mignola, Arcudi, Davis

Talking werewolves!! Can I get a fuck YEAH!? The pick of the week award goes to this comic, for this and a few other reasons.

Another one being the awesome Mike Mignola cover, (hands down my favorite comic book artist). This issue is a detour from universal machines plot, but it works. It contains a nightmarish ghost story from Liz where we delve into her tragic past, and another story told by Abe, where he and Hellboy encounter a wendigo, (a cursed ghost only found in Canada). Instead of engaging in a run of the mill fight, the three talk. The dialogue from the wendigo, who actually used to be a man as he tried to cope with the lost of his family and his humanity is pretty fucking heart breaking.

Then you remember the talking werewolves and everything is all better. If you only know of Hellboy and the B.P.R.D. through the movie then I’d definately reccomend picking up any of the trades. Even though the movie is cool it can’t hold a candle to the comics.

P.S. Comics.